Black and White Thoughts


    These are the woeful fancies
    That realities involve:
    To pendulate between extremes,
    To live and fight without resolve.
    To remain forever penitent
    Without the sin known to absolve.

    As the waters wear the earth,
    So fantasies dissolve,
    For truth must know its creator
    Before it can evolve.

    Both bidden and rebuffed
    Is this welcoming demand:
    Such fluid incongruency
    None from without could understand.

    The world doth rise and fall
    Within a heartbeat spanned--
    From indifferent surroundedness
    To solitude unplanned.

    Shameless hatred, gluttonous denial,
    Overcome by vanity;
    Loathing obsession is rewarded thus:
    With the blessing of profanity...
    An aching hopeless lust
    Which engulfs this droll humanity.

    'Tis a narrow path to tread
    Between one's craft and one's insanity.
                                          
    1999
    Dedicated, with admiration and gratitude, to
    S. Wellinghoff, who helped me understand.
On Coming Alive

I awoke, ravenous,
From nightmarish tranquillity;
Loathsome solitude and comforting quiet
Left behind with due remorse.
Guilt loomed great for the indulgence of seclusion,
Yet unapparent in fierce and eager eyes.  

I looked upon new landscapes—within and without—
Like a hung’ring beast with lust to nourish,
One-minded and unfettered,
An unclear obsession to feed and nurture
Where ignorance and apathy had ere neglected.

No longer denied, new thirsts overwhelmed
To glut of this worldly wine
And discard the dust-dry chalice—once brimmed in denial—
Which intoxicated and numbed.

This vessel has new purpose.

1999
this page updated 01/06/06
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